Honoring Loss

Having a Ceremony:

Finding a place to have a ceremony can be a wonderful way to honor loss.  It can be a positive way to grieve devastating life experiences, like miscarriages for example.  It can also be a great way to acknowledge the loss of failed infertility treatments and negative pregnancy tests.   

It is important to realize that it isn't necessary to have a miscarriage or a failed treatment to take the time to honor all of the losses that come with infertility.  Taking a moment to honor not having a pregnancy or another dreaded period can be just as important as honoring the pregnancies that didn't result in life.  It also doesn't matter if you were pregnant for one second, one day, one month, or more than one trimester.  Loss is loss and it hurts.  The same goes for all of the cold medical terminology like blighted ovum's, chemical pregnancies, ectopic pregnancies, and stillbirths.  These are all losses of infertility and each one of them need to be grieved and honored.

(We planned our last meeting at the Riparian Preserve in Gilbert.)

Dedicating a Figurine: 

Another way to honor loss is by dedicating a figurine.  Willow Tree Angels are just one example of meaningful figurines that can be used to bring peace to a heart that has been touched by loss.  Willow Tree Angels are wonderful because they come with such special meanings.

Remembrance Angel

 Memories... hold each one safely in your heart.

Angel of Miracles

Trusting in life's everyday miracles

Angel of Healing

 For those who give comfort with caring and tenderness

Promise Angel

Hold dear the promise of love

Memory and Remembrance Books:

Memorial books can serve as unique way to cope with loss.  They are a safe place to store photos, poems, and other items that hold significance.  These books can be especially helpful after pregnancy loss.  

In the Company of Angels - A Memorial Book,

by Casey Shay Press:

This book is amazing!  It provides spaces to put photos of sonograms with the option to replace any images that aren't present with things like poems or other sentimental items.  It is a compassionate way to honor angel babies and I highly recommend it.

A Memory Journal: A Keepsake Journal of Loss and Remembrance,

by Marianne Richmond:

I would also highly recommend this book.  This is not specific towards pregnancy loss, but is for any type of loss and remembrance.  The helpful part about this is that the remembrance portions of the book can be used to process pregnancy loss, but the book in general can help process other feelings of loss brought on by infertility.

Making your own Memorial Book

There are many ways that you could make your own Memory or Remembrance book.  Making a scrapbook, an online photo book, or a special journal are some examples of ways to create something of this nature.  The books listed above will be added to the "Library of Resources" as a source of inspiration.  Please reach out to the person listed in the slideshow to borrow them as templates for your own. 

Letting Go: 

There is a big difference between honoring the memory of loss and holding on to that pain too tightly.  It is extremely important to find ways to start letting go.  It is also important to do that when you feel ready.  There is no specific amount of time that it will take to start letting go of pain, but your heart will tell you when it is time. 

Finding a tangible memento meant for release can be a wonderful way to let go.  One way to do this is to choose of physical object, like a child's toy, that can be given away when you are ready.  Another tangible object that you can use is a "message in a bottle".  When you are ready, you may consider taking it on a vacation and releasing it in an environmentally friendly way.  These types of bottles can also be used as time capsules.  You may even consider burying your "messages in a bottle" while planting a tree in honor of loss.

(There are several "messages in a bottle" leftover if you would like one.)

Saying Goodbye:

Have you ever considered finding a way to say goodbye to a baby that you may never meet?  This can be a very especially important step in healing.  Writing a letters, creating a poems, or singing songs are all great ways to say goodbye.  There is no right or wrong way to say goodbye, but taking the time to do so can heal the heart and bring closure.